Hello, do I know you?

The Ginger Ninja turns seven today!

The Ginger Ninja turns seven today!

This is my Ginger Ninja, and today he turns seven. Happy birthday son, I love you to the moon and back, and round the paddock a few times to boot!

He’s a wonderful kid, my boy, but there are times he’s about as different to me as I could imagine. Sometimes I struggle getting into his head, struggle to understand how he ticks, what motivation he needs, why he thinks the way he does.

Now, if I had a scanner and a few spare hours to go hunting through old family photos (neither of which I actually have) I would show you a picture of my husband when he was in kindergarten. Same hair. Same freckles. Same cheeky smile. When I remember this all the pieces suddenly click into place for me: I gave birth to a clone of my husband.

A friend of mine once told me that she had so many fights with her husband, didn’t understand him one bit, completely tried to turn him into another version of her–until she gave birth to a son just like him.

I get that. I’d never tried to change my husband, but boy her words helped me understand my son. And my daughter (my me-clone), and my youngest son (another version of me). And because of this I understand myself–my motivations, my reactions, my fears and my disappointments–better as well.

Sometimes I think this is the real benefit of having children: if we let them teach us, we can become better versions of ourselves.

How about you? Have you ever noticed your own personality–for better or for worse–reflected in your kids? Have you ever understood your partner better, or your parents, because of your kids?

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12 thoughts on “Hello, do I know you?

  1. I understand my older sister much more now that I have Miss E. She is so much like my sis. And Mr. T…yes. He is a tiny Jeff. Mr. A? Oh, I don’t know…we’re still figuring him out. And I like that I don’t completely get him yet. 🙂

    Happy Birthday to your Ginga Ninja! I hope it’s a lovely one!

    • Interesting! Is Miss E like your #1 sis, or #2?
      I struggled to understand my youngest’s personality for a while until I realised he was another version of me, one that had been squashed for a long time. He reminds me A LOT of your Mr. A. It’ll be interesting to see how they get along!

  2. My gravatar is a picture of me at 3, which may as well be a picture of my 3rd at 3. My wife doesn’t understand him at all, which is why most of his parenting falls to me. Not that I’m any better because I just can’t seem to recall what I was thinking at 3 for some reason…

    • Hehe, yeah, funny that 🙂
      Interesting that most of the parenting falls to you with #3. Yeah, there are certainly times when I’ve sent Tony in where I can’t do it with my Ginger Ninja, not because I don’t understand, but because I don’t have the empathy enough to push through for the length of time it takes to get him round to something. Very, VERY grateful that I’m happily married to his dad. I dread to think what my parenting skills would be like with him as a sole-parent.

  3. I have no children, but see the world differently through my dogs’ eyes…oh, wait, CAAAATTTT!!!!!!!

    Sorry. I’m back.

    Seriously, I have never seen unconditional love that matches the love that comes from the eyes of a dog. These are companions who actually take “I would die defending you” seriously.

    And at the same time – they’re totally dependent on us for food, shelter, life itself. They make me want to keep working hard even when it hurts too much to stand.

    • LOL!
      I’ve always been a cat person, and cats are notoriously finicky and temperamental, so I’ve not experienced that I-would-die-for-you love…until I had my kids. Funnily enough my boys, who are both uber dog-people, are that fiercely loyal, protective types as well. Love it. Love them.

  4. My oldest looks like a clone of me but I think it’s a disguise, coz she acts like my husband, which kinda gets confusing at times, but yes, it does help me understand both of them better. And my middle girl is almost exactly like my sister – so guess who I run to for advice when I don’t know how to deal with her! My little man is my clone. Mostly. I get him. 🙂

  5. My middle child, a daughter, is so like me but more so. She seems to be going through the phase of not wanting to be like her mother – but I don’t see much choice for her. I seemed to have bombarded her with my gene pool. Even though I can see my husband and me in our children, they frequently feel like strangers to me. I guess that is good because they have to become their own person with the mix of genes they were handed.

    • “they have to become their own person with the mix of genes they were handed”
      Well said Pat. I’ll have to remember that.
      (Gosh, sorry it’s taken me this long to reply though!)

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