I don’t do this much, but today I’ve got a guest post on the blog: my dear friend Susie Finkbeiner, who has just released her second novel, My Mother’s Chamomile. Susie is a cracker of a storyteller with a deep insight into the human condition. I love what she writes here. In fact, I know exactly what she means…
I’ve noticed a theme in my novels. It sneaks past me in the first draft and lurks, just out of view, as I pick through with my editing pen. This theme just doesn’t want to be weeded out.
Worry. To the point of anxiety.
Writers inject so much of themselves in what they create. Yes, I just so happen to struggle with worry.
I worry about forgetting important things, upsetting others, hurting a friend’s feelings. I worry about feeding my kids enough veggies and the right kind of protein. I worry that my kids will grow up in a crazy world and that they’ll never realize how much I love them. Most of all, I worry that something will happen to one of them. Or my husband.
Worry. Worry. Worry.
When my husband and I first got married, we adopted a dog named Sanders. That dog loved to bark. He’d yap at the mailman. The squirrels. A particle of dust whizzing through the air. All the time, that dog would go on barking. We’d get after him. “Sanders! STOP barking!” He’d look right at us and keep on going.
Barking was his instinct.
I can read the words of Scripture all day long. The ones that say “Don’t worry”. But, some days, it’s like I’m looking at Jesus and just worrying anyway.
In my newest novel, My Mother’s Chamomile, my character Olga struggles with worry, too. Most of her anxiety revolves around her daughter. The issue, her issue, is that she doesn’t find God trustworthy with what He’d given her.
And when I worry, that’s exactly what I’m saying, too.
I’m looking God square in the face and practically barking, “I don’t trust You”.
And going around yapping my fool head off when what I really need to do is hush up. Calm down. Let go of the controls that I think are steering my life, but that are just making me go round in circles.
Turning off the barking worry isn’t easy. In fact, some days it seems darn near impossible. Good thing I’m not left to do it alone.
Susie Finkbeiner is a wife and mother living in the beauty of West Michigan. When she’s not busy writing, she enjoys playing Scrabble with her husband, zoo trips with her kids, coffee dates with good friends, and quiet moments to read. Susie is the author ofPaint Chips and My Mother’s Chamomile, both published by WhiteFire Publishing. Susie is represented by Ann Byle at Credo Communications.
If you want to know more about Susie check out her website, www.susiefinkbeiner.com, and make sure you check out My Mother’s Chamomile on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/My-Mothers-Chamomile-Susie-Finkbeiner-ebook/dp/B00IC8E530/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1392681505&sr=8-1&keywords=susie+finkbeiner