I am not a conspiracy theorist. I’d kind of like to be though, because it does sound kind of fun, being able to believe in all those connections, those wild connections between politicians and weather and dates and history and cat food brands…or something like that. I’m not a conspiracy theorist. Much as I’d like it to be otherwise, I kind of just believe that JFK was shot by a mad bloke, not that I was there.
But – and here’s the thing – I do believe in patterns. It’s a left-handed thing, apparently, although I’m sure there are a lot of right-handed people out there who notice the same things I do, and a lot of right-handed conspiracy theorists. But there you go, left-handed people tend to notice patterns a lot – and that in itself is a pattern. Oh. I read about that one long before I noticed it though.
I LOVED reading the comments on Friday’s post about birth stories and personalities. I’m so pleased and excited that it’s not just me, that other parents can notice similar connections. Not that any of it means anything really, but it’s fun, and funny, and makes the universe a more interesting place to be. Have any of you who are married or in long-term relationships noticed another pattern too – that morning people marry night people? That people who fold their toilet paper marry people who scrunch? That people who bite into their Easter Eggs marry people who prefer to break them? There’s a pattern here too, folks – we’ve tested this theory a few times and it’s seems pretty…oh, I was going to say “universal” until I realized that you could hardly call toilet paper or Easter Eggs that. But you know what I mean.
I don’t believe in conspiracy theories, but I do believe in a God in Heaven who’s really not limited by our understanding, and sometimes I wonder if God is left-handed too, or if some of these patterns I see around me are actually God’s doing. I’ve learned, as I’ve got older, that if I’m feeling lonely and isolated and depressed there’s a high chance that my friends are feeling it too, like some kind of seasonal flu (and have you ever noticed the times that you’re feeling lonely and isolated that you just presume everyone else is happy and you don’t want to bother them? Oh, is that just me). If I’m feeling stretched to the end of my capabilities then yes, quite often I find that my closest buddies are feeling the same thing in their own lives or their own little corners of the world, as if a stretching rain has come, or a lonely sunshine, and we all feel it, together.
I’ve found that 2012 has been a stretching, dramatic, pivotal year for a lot of people. It’s been a good year for me, in the way that, say, an amputation of a gangrenous leg is good – even without an anaesthetic. I’m smiling, although my gritted teeth are aching a little by now. Some years are like that – I haven’t had one this memorable for a while. 1993 was one too, a memorable, gangrenous-leg kind of year.
And…here’s the weirdest of the patterns I’ve ever noticed, the remarkable thing that makes me stop and wonder about the nature of God and the universe: the people I know that have had big, earth-shattering leg-amputating years this year, in 2012, also seem to have had enormous, gangrenous-leg experiences in 1993.
I don’t read anything into that. I can’t, because I will be wrong. My brain just isn’t big enough to think that much outside of the box to come up with anything that’s not just silly. I’m not a conspiracy theorist.
But I believe.
How about you? Have you had an enormous and memorable 2012? Have you ever noticed patterns like this in the lives of people around you? Do you like conspiracy theories too?