Just. Still. So. Tired.
All the time. Tired. Sick of it, really. Not used to feeling this way. I get the feeling that, more than anything else, it’s my body’s reaction to grief, to change, to serious upheaval. I’ve heard that bodies can do that kind of thing, even when the mind thinks it’s okay. I’ve thought I was okay. I’m sad sometimes, but not waking up overwhelmed with grief and tears any more. Just tired.
Sometimes it lifts, and those are the times I notice, and I notice when it comes over me again. It occurred to me that, especially now, there are things that energise me and things that make me tired. It’s probably always been this way, but more noticeable now.
I took the kids to the beach today. That energised me. I love the sound of the waves. I love the water.
Going home to piles of housework still waiting to be done made me tired.
Exhausted, I walked up to the supermarket. Time on my own energised me. Time in the mornings with half my brain still waiting for the kids to get up makes me tired.
Honest talk with adult friends energises me. Small talk makes me tired. Facebook, on the other hand, energises me.
Writing energises me. Work (admin) makes me VERY tired.
Spending time in my kids’ rooms (which I cleaned from top to bottom the other day) energises me. Spending time in my lounge room, which the kids have completely trashed, makes me tired. It’s school holidays. That’s a part of it. Still makes me tired.
Paul Simon energises me. Paul Kelly makes me tired.
Funny thing that, eh? A bit of self-knowledge goes a long way. I have the day to myself on Wednesday…you’ll find me in my kids’ bedroom, writing on Facebook, listening to Paul Simon…please leave me there as long as you can!
What about you? Have you ever figured out what activities energise you, and which make you tired? How do you find the balance of energising and tiring activities?